I stare at the pile of discarded belongings and think of you. Did you touch that there? Does your scent still linger in that? A terrible emptiness settles into my chest and I realize that no matter how much I go about living, there are always small reminders that make the loss fresh again.

I can’t hide that the words hurt me. I can blame it on bad luck, cold weather,  that my car just wouldn’t start, but in truth the tears are from words that  won’t leave my head, even after you vacated my bed.

Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m going to make them  alive. But I’m just a girl who's looking for my own peace of mind; don't assign  me yours.

But what if the problem isn’t forgetting the memories? What if it is remembering  the memories as if they happened just second ago? What if I don’t want to  remember?

She rolls her head toward me, and I can see the hope in her eyes. I want to tell  her yes, but something deep inside me says: no, I don’t think it could ever be  this way.

It’s as if some fog had been lifted, and I could see clearly for the first time  since this all began. I will not be intimidated, not by them. Not by anyone.

Did I ever worry about anything at all? Living in my precious cocoon where no
trouble may intrude? I no longer remember that girl, I have become someone else,
and I am not quite sure who I am anymore.


Soon I am aware of him as
well. His secrets, his vanities, his fears. His life flits past my mind, a thick
ribbon unspooling. And I am the one who should like to look away, but I can’t.

I cannot answer. It is as if a cold, hard weight has been placed upon my chest.
Everyone thinks him such a great man. If only I wanted that and nothing deeper,
I should be happy. I want to hate him for everything. I want to, but I can’t
because he is all I have. And if I have to, I will make him understand.

He only glances at me, we don’t look at each other anymore. Not really. Not
since that night. When he looks at me, he sees what he would rather not
remember.

I wish there was something now I could say or do. I can resist anything but the
temptation from you, but I’d rather walk alone than chase you around, and I'd
rather fall myself than let you drag me on down.

It took a long time, but I suddenly realized that I
wasn't in love with you, but more the thought of you. I loved who i
thought you could be, not who you were.

Don't waste time on payback, getting even
will stop you from getting ahead

There are many things that we would throw
away if we were not afraid that others might pick them
up.

up in smoke
that's
where my money goes.
in my lungs
sometimes up my
nose.
when troubled times
begin to bother
me.
I take a toke
and all my cares go up
smoke.

she lies and says she's in love again, can't find
a better man.

And I'm
leaning on the fence between past and present tense. And I'm losing all those
stupid games I swore I'd never play. But it almost feels okay.

I remember how
you tasted. I've had you so many times, let's face it

so lately i've been feeling lost, i've been feeling out of place. my mind is so confused my dear & i can't forget your face.

should have looked both ways before I crossed you, I guess I never thought I could have ever lost you.

we can't
afford to take trips so we get high to get away

Today Kyle (Boyfriend) and I went in for my 20 week ultrasound, we found out were having a boy :)

I really like the name Joshua Wade, Wade is Kyle's middle name and I love the name. But Kyle and I have to come to a final decision.

His little man parts, lol

:) over all view of the baby

He was flexing his little arm, it was cute :)

It's been a bad week. Venting through quotes. I hope you like :)

-If you think it hurts that bad, don’t talk about it, don’t let it get you down. It’s just one part of the story. Just let it go.

-You may be facing difficulties right now, but you should never forget that life does go on and it will always be better tomorrow.

-I’m not mad at you. I’m not ignoring you. I just want to see your efforts for me.

-It’s up to you now. I’m done trying to make this work. If you want me in your life, you’re going to have to find a way to put me there. I give up.

-Forever only lasts until the going gets rough.

-You always disappoint me. It's kinda like our inside joke, except it's not funny.

-Maybe one day we'll both turn back and fix it together. Until then I'm gone.

-Don't depend on next times and second chances.

-just when you've had enough, life gives you more. And just when you think it's rained enough, it starts to pour.

-You're way to young to believe that it's not going to be okay.

-Take the time to let it go.

-i'm done. i'm done revolving my life around someone
who doesn't care. if you ever need me, i'll be here.
but this time, you will come to me.

-I'm not going to spend my life chasing people. You want to leave? Fine then, go ahead. Because I'm done with chasing and caring for people who never had an interest in me. Nothing lasts and people change. I've learned love is hard and life isn't what you want it to be.

-I could forgive you & forget everything that happened. But that wouldn't make it any better. We'll never be able to go back to the way it used to be. You had the world in your hands, but instead you threw it away. So don't expect me to feel sorry for something that was your own fault

-I need someone who can keep up with me
someone whose going to push me
someone who will tell me I'm not always right
and that sometimes I need to apologize.
I need someone whose going to set me straight
because nobody cared enough about me to do that